Please get a room

As I walk down the hallways to my classes, I cannot help but want to puke at the sight of couples “tonguing” each other. It’s bad enough that I just brushed my teeth; now I have this sensation to hurl my breakfast onto you.

Is it too much to ask to be able to walk to my class without seeing similar moves from a porno?  Is there any need for you giggling blonde bombshells to be straddling your man on campus? I know you must think you are the sexiest thing to walk the planet, but to have his tongue three inches down your throat in public is not necessary.

It has even come to my attention that the majority of students and faculty members should not be sitting on those chairs or couches throughout campus. Do you really know what has been “going down” on those couches that you find so comfy? How often do you think those couches and chairs are cleaned, let alone if they even are cleaned?

May I please remind people, in particular the students, we are in an educational environment; however this does not mean we need to stroll down our high school health class memory lane.  Our school does not need to become a new Play Boy Mansion. There needs to be more modesty with your relationship at school, which does not mean to find stairwells that are empty from 2:15 to 2:20, since we know that is all it takes.

Then it comes to the attention of faculty members; why are so many students out sick this season? One word, mono. There are nearly 35 students each Tuesday making out in front of campus buildings around 12:30 p.m.  With each of those couples “frenching” or “lip smacking” each other, you have transferred so many different germs and possible diseases.

All I am asking here is that I can walk to my class without seeing a portion of a porno every two seconds from the entrance to my Speech class. Hey, you want to hold hands and be all mushy with your partner, be my guest. However, when it comes to your tongue down that guy’s throat and his hands fondling parts of your body that clearly look to be fake, do it at home or a hotel, not at school.

If you are so interested in doing naughty and provocative things in public places, maybe you should think about a new career plan. Just don’t take to any offense when people come up to you and ask you to get a room, or take it to your car. We simply don’t want to see your sex life at school.


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